The subject of today’s article is How To Avoid Awkward Silences. That was an awkward silence. Not about that. Job interview, over. Date, over, alright? Awkward silences happen a lot in conversation. If you are suffering from this disease of the awkward silence then this could be for you, alright? So these are our top tips.
Number one, point number one, relax. Remember, this is just another human being you’re being faced with. Yeah, this person freaks you out a little bit, due to their social status or their great looks as a woman. But they are still a human being. You have to relax and remember that. And the more edgy you get, the more nervous you get, the more they are gonna sense that. It’s gonna make them nervous and it’s gonna make them awkward as well. Remember awkwardness breeds awkwardness. So chill, relax, and remember they’re just a person even if you are real introvert RELAX!
A few techniques to sort of think about are pretend you’re drunk. Pretend it’s a family member or someone you’ve known for ages. Say stuff you wouldn’t normally say. Whatever comes to your mind, just blurt it out there. See how it works. It’s always better to be spontaneous, a bit weird, a bit crazy, and talk more than to be nervous and shy. You’re just gonna make them feel nervous and shy, and it’s definitely not gonna be attractive, especially in the case of attractive females. So relax, chill, remember a hot chick is simply a good looking skeleton. She may be a good looking skeleton, but she’s a skeleton just like you. She bleeds just like you. Don’t cut her up, it’s illegal, alright? But apart from that, she’s a normal person, so relax and speak to her in that manner. Remember as well, right? Awkward silences are one thing, but an awkward silence is usually caused by your frantic overworking of your brain because you’re not relaxing. There are so many thoughts going through your head about how you’re screwing up this interaction that you’re not actually thinking about what you’re saying. Listen to her, listen to him. It could be your boss, it could be an interview, it could be a hot chick, right? Relax, and then reply. So here comes my response. Because I’ve heard your information, I’m a human being, I’ve processed it, I’m not stupid. And now I’m gonna respond in turn with another question, another observation, another comment on what they’ve said. The more you manage to sort of suppress that nervous energy, the more you’re gonna think about the actual conversation, and the better your response is gonna be.
Alright, so point number two is a little technique to help us extend on conversation anyway. Because saying just relax is gonna piss some people off because naturally they are unrelaxed in social scenarios. So point number two is show interest in them, in their information, alright? They could be talking about something you absolutely know nothing about, don’t care about, or even detest. But humans are very egoistic. We are egoistic creatures. We like to talk about ourselves. We like people to show interest in our activities, okay? I’m not kissing someone’s arse, but if I’m finding it hard to speak to speak to them, then the best thing to do is to find the stuff they’re interested in and focus on that. And there’s a simple way of doing that. So say again we take the example of an attractive lady, we say, “So, you know what? “I don’t know anything about you. “What do you enjoy doing in your spare time?” We get a response like, “Oh, I like yoga. “I do a lot of yoga.” You go, well, you think to yourself I know nothing about yoga, you could do the typical thing and go, “Alright, cool, yeah.” You know, awkward pause and blurt out something else. Or you can, as I said earlier, relax, think about yoga, think about all the different things which spring to your mind when you think of yoga. So as I said, think of everything you know about yoga. What can I think of off the top of my head? Okay, I could say something like, “Oh, wow, you do yoga! “So what, you’re really sort of bendy, then? “Can you reach over to that table and pass the ashtray?” Make a little joke. And then say, “Yeah, I’m just kidding. “So what kind of yoga do you do then?” She replies, and then you say, “Oh, wow, that’s really cool. “You know what, I’ve heard of Bikram yoga. “Someone told me that you actually do that in a sauna. “That sounds like absolute torture, man! “Wow, you ever done that?” She’s gonna respond again, and she’s gonna be like, wow, there’s a connection here. We’re talking about yoga. I love yoga. The truth is you don’t really know anything about yoga. You don’t care about yoga, but you’re showing interest in the information the person you’re speaking to is giving you, and thus they’re going to feel like you’re interested in them, and there is a rapport building. This is called massaging someone’s ego, and it’s a great technique if you really don’t know what to say to someone. People love to talk about themselves and their activities, so utilize it. Other little bits, you know, more yoga, alright? I can say, “Do you know what? “I work out a lot, man. “I”m in the gym the whole time. “I’ve got a really bad leg at the moment, “my hamstring is killing me. “Actually, my physio said I should go “and do some yoga. “It could really help, the stretching and that. “What do you think about that? “Should I try it? I guarantee you’re gonna get a really insightful response from a yoga fan. They’re gonna tell you about how good it is, maybe they had a past injury which it helped them with as well. Alright, so you’re gonna find common ground in an area you have no common ground by being imaginative and thinking about the obvious things which spring to your mind when the conversation topic comes up. And you can do that with simply anything. It doesn’t have to be yoga. Think about the topic, relax, and respond in turn. No one word answers and no stuttering. Or pausing.
So, point number three is to ask open-ended questions which can lead on to further conversations. So the obvious one, you’re speaking to someone you’re finding it difficult to speak to, ask them something like, “So what do you do for work, man? “What’s your occupation?” They’re gonna respond, you could even say, “Oh, right, yeah, you work at a bank. ” Oh, cool. “I go to the bank.” End of conversation! And you’re like wow, that guy is lame. I’ve got to get out of here.
Or you can think to yourself. Or you can take the essence of why they work in the bank. So you say something like, “So man, how long have you worked at the bank? “Do you enjoy that?” We’re gonna go through three time frames. Past, present, and future. You’re always gonna start with the present because that’s now. But let’s go through what I mean, alright? So, the present. So, you work at the bank, right? How long have you been doing that for? Do you enjoy it? Oh, cool, two years. Which bank do you work in? Amazing, man, I’m actually at that bank, funny enough. Man, can you give me some free cash? Just kidding. Then you’re gonna say something like, “So, is that what you studied to do? “Have you always wanted to be a banker? “Have you always wanted to work at a bank? “Or you know, is there some other grand scheme? “What would you like to do in the future? “What are your aspirations?” So we’ve now moved from what they do in the present to what they want to do in the future. So it’s aspirational, but realistic aspirations. What is your plan? Have you got a business you’re gonna launch? So let’s take if it was a girl, right? We say to her, “So, what do you do?” and she says, “Oh, I just work in an office “in marketing right now.” You do the same thing. Ask her how long she’s been doing that for. Ask her where the office is, what company it is. Make a few comments to split it up. A bit of humor dropped in if you can. And then you’re simply gonna say, “So, what’s the big plan, then? “You don’t wanna be working in an office forever. “I can tell. “What would you love to do in the future?” And she responds and says, “Well, actually, you know what? “I want to launch my own fashion range.” So now we’ve gone into the future and what she wants to do with her life. Okay, so from there you go, “Wow, that’s amazing. “I’d love to see your stuff. “I can tell you’re a fashionable person. “I bet it’s gonna be awesome. “You should go for it. “Follow that dream.” On that note, it’s a perfect time to jump right back to the past, so we’ve gone through those three tenses. Present, future, now back to the past. And then we’re gonna say, “Okay, so, fashion designer, right? “Have you wanted to do that forever? “In fact, what was your dream when you were a kid? “What did you want to do when you were growing up So anyway, we’re gonna ask her what she wanted to do when she was a kid. And usually, you’re gonna get a funny response. Oh, I wanted to be a fireman. Or I wanted to be a fairy. Or I wanted to be, whatever, yeah? Then you’ve got your response ready and you can both have a laugh about what you wanted to do when you were a little kid. I wanted to be a badass. I think I pretty much achieved that. Cut that. Okay, so now we’re in this sort of realm of having a laugh, it’s fantasy, it’s what you wanted to do when you were a kid. You can have one more bonus tense, timeframe, I have no word for this. So you can say, “Alright, cool. “So you wanted to be a ballerina when you were younger, “you work in an office, and you want to be “a fashion designer in the future. “Okay, so tell me, if you could have any job “in the world, what would your dream job be?” Of course, she may just respond and say I want to be a fashion designer, which is her dream and you go okay, well, go for it. But a lot of the time you can push it more. You can be like, “Aw, come on, really?” “What would you rather be? “Like an athlete or an actor? “What would your dream job be?” I know, for one, my dream was always just to be unemployed and sit on the couch smoking all day and watching TV. Just kidding. Don’t say that. Not attractive. But anyway, then you can come into what you wanna do, your dream, you know? You can say, “Yeah, you know what? “I think being an actor would be incredible. “What would be better, being an actor or an athlete? “Have to be an actor because actors can drink “and they can get fucked up and go and party, “and athletes, they can, then they lose their contract.” I’d flash up a few pictures of famous footballers right now. But I don’t want to offend anyone. And I don’t know anything about football. Okay, so that was the dream tense. You’re taking them all into fantasy and it’s more banter and it’s funner. And this is all gonna help you extend the conversation. So use that technique, guys. Open-ended questions followed by the present, future, past, and dream tenses.
I have a final point on how to avoid those awkward silences and extend on conversation is to really listen. And once again, we’re gonna go back to the most feared of species for the average man, which is the attractive female, right? Guys don’t listen enough. They are so focused on showing off, or trying to show how much of strong character they are, or trying to be a joker, that they’re not listening to the information which has been given to them.
The cliche of oh, he’s a really good listener is totally true. Be a good listener. Listen to the information they are giving you, alright? Don’t just be thinking she’s talking about her holiday. I’ve got to talk about my holiday in Las Vegas where I had such a great time and I stayed in the Wynn hotel and I won 10 grand in the casino. Stop showing off. Stop thinking about your information and listen to her, right? Women also want you to know about them. They want their personality to shine through as well, and too many guys are constantly just trying to get the next big story out, the next point on their Ego CV out. Listen to your female counterpart. But this is the same for men as well. There is nothing worse than someone who keeps bragging, keeps talking about themselves, and whenever you try and speak, they kind of stop listening. They’re, you know, thinking about what they’re gonna say next or looking around the room, and then they blow it back with their information. Awful. I just want to slap their face and leave, right? I feel sorry for all the chicks out there who date guys who are constantly bragging about their achievements. Nobody gives a shit that you went whitewater rafting on a stag do in the Grand Canyon. Especially not her. She wants you to be interested in her. That’s rapport, and that is something which a lot of men mess up on.
Alright guys, so that was our five points on how to avoid awkward silences. There should be no more awkward silences now, none of that, none, from you, not anymore. When you’re on a date, in a job interview, in the office, whenever you’re feeling awkward, try these techniques. They’re always gonna help.